No-so-random feelings #1(intro & work)

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." - Douglas Adams


I'm at a crossroads, it seems theres much going on, and there's this constant struggle over what I should do. That quote sums up my hesitations. My brain is almost always on, and over-thinking. So as I go through life, I try to use knowledge and the experiences of other to bypass some of the problems that can plague each and every one of us. With that said, sometimes I think to myself what should I be doing and or how should something be done. Why "re-invent the wheel", or fall into the same traps as those before me. So once I boil the situation down to just a few choices, I just figure out which is the easiest, funnest, right-ist, and true-est, then I go ahead an do. This process isn't in stone, or always followed but it is there maybe half the time. The biggest negative about the process, is that it doesn't always leave room for creativity and individualism.


Back to the crossroads... it seems every area of life is lacking. Part of it is my fault, for not ensuring those areas grow properly and/or putting time, energy, money and feelings into other places. So my work life, home life, family life, friend life, and spiritual life are all suffering.


Professional Life: I do the job better/faster/stronger than the previous person. So combined with my brains, everything I do gets major accolades from those who see their ideas implemented. However, when I look at my job and duties, and my 2.5 years of experience. Its not the quality of experience that adds up, its more repeating the same 1 year of experience multiple times. I haven't even gotten the annual raise that is sorta in the employee handbook. Whether my boss(the ones that sign my check) recognize the lack of growing experience or not, I'm not getting paid market value. The main reason why I stay there, I because I want to see this phase of the project through, and because they give flexibility and perks, that probably won't be other places.


At the same time, ever since I worked there, they told me "If I get an types of certification, I can get a raise," Because then I'd be more valuable and easier for the to sell to other places. I made, well continuously make(it seems), the decision to not study or make any steps in that direction.


I also thought about grad school. I even took the GRE a year or two ago. I checked out GMU and Georgetown Masters in COmputer Science programs. But I have yet to completely finish an application. I never make it past the essay or application fee part. It was on the to-do list in September, but then I let moving, coming out, and personal feelings keep me busy.


Future questions....
So now how long do I stay at my current project as is?
How long do I stay without getting a raise?
Do I really want grad school?
Should I sign up for night classes to work towards a certification?

Do I look for a new job?
Do... I... Move to NYC...