Today I forgot to bring my phone as I rushed out of the house to catch a ride to work from my roommate. Earlier, this morning I had decided to stay away from both facebooks for the entire day. But I knew I'd have my phone with me, and that I would still be "attached" through that, and people would be able to reach me if they were so inclined. But now, I have no phone and "resolve" to stay off of facebook.
When I realized my phone was home, I had mixed reactions as to whether this was a good or bad thing. It is true, that I'm basically cut off from the world, outside of my work environment. Yet I also don't have any real responsibilities or obligations, that would make it NECESSARY for someone to get a hold of me. So in a way, I'm liberating myself from the chains of technology and constant "connectedness". Although, its not exactly easy to free oneself from the mindset and/or habits, of jumping on facebook or seeing who's online on AIM or wondering who, if anyone is trying to reach me.
The most ironic part of all this is that yesterday a friend's facebook status was that he was going to go the whole day without using his phone. One comment led to another, and I ended up saying "I can go a whole day without using my phone or facebook... i just don't wanna, so i'm not gonna(anytime soon)". Yet other circumstances and feelings brought me to that place today. With all that said, this is my official notice to people letting them know the whats up. (Yet, I wonder how many will read this here, or the automatic repost into facebook.)
PS - I'm going to NYC tonight/tomorrow morning... YAY Family
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Word of the Month: "Resolve"
Resolve - to deal with successfully : clear up; to reach a firm decision about; - verb
fixity of purpose : resoluteness; - noun
This is my goals for the next month, and hopefully it'll stick. Oftentimes, I'll write To-Do Lists, goals, hopes, and plans. Yet, I don't always follow through. Certain events, words or experiences will show me where I'm at, and I recognize it is not where I WANT to be. Then I figure out a way to cross that gap, motivate myself, and attempt to start the process. But after some amount of time passes, I regress. I let fear, difficulty, "responsibility", the "past", and other factors stop my progress. Then, after some time, I go through the same steps again. After I make a decision, I will be firm about it, and not let my purpose falter until I have success.
Last week, I've been in this "blah" mood at times. And on Friday responded to me in the most correct way. They showed me my flaws, and exposed my own faulty logic. They told me the words I was saying, the ideas that i said I believed in, and then how my actions were the opposite. Basically referring to my closeted-ness. I posed the statment saying "When or will anyone ever take the risk on me?", and he responded saying "Why do you want someone else to take a risk on you, when you won't even take the risk on you?"... those words definitely cut deep.
So apart from feeling like an undeserving piece of shi-ite. I was determined more than ever to fix the problem, and put myself in a better position for the future. Now, I have to begin to come out of the closet with "resolve". I can not turn back, or let this decision waver. I have to set things in motion, and not let myself go back on my decision. And I've just about completed this awesome book, which has helped my motivation and given me hope for the future. I should finish it tomorrow, and I'll write about it later.
fixity of purpose : resoluteness; - noun
This is my goals for the next month, and hopefully it'll stick. Oftentimes, I'll write To-Do Lists, goals, hopes, and plans. Yet, I don't always follow through. Certain events, words or experiences will show me where I'm at, and I recognize it is not where I WANT to be. Then I figure out a way to cross that gap, motivate myself, and attempt to start the process. But after some amount of time passes, I regress. I let fear, difficulty, "responsibility", the "past", and other factors stop my progress. Then, after some time, I go through the same steps again. After I make a decision, I will be firm about it, and not let my purpose falter until I have success.
Last week, I've been in this "blah" mood at times. And on Friday responded to me in the most correct way. They showed me my flaws, and exposed my own faulty logic. They told me the words I was saying, the ideas that i said I believed in, and then how my actions were the opposite. Basically referring to my closeted-ness. I posed the statment saying "When or will anyone ever take the risk on me?", and he responded saying "Why do you want someone else to take a risk on you, when you won't even take the risk on you?"... those words definitely cut deep.
So apart from feeling like an undeserving piece of shi-ite. I was determined more than ever to fix the problem, and put myself in a better position for the future. Now, I have to begin to come out of the closet with "resolve". I can not turn back, or let this decision waver. I have to set things in motion, and not let myself go back on my decision. And I've just about completed this awesome book, which has helped my motivation and given me hope for the future. I should finish it tomorrow, and I'll write about it later.
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