The Hurdle That Will Be April

I'm flabbergasted. Not only did he decide to counter-petition for a restraining order, (which I find to be completely ridiculous since the whole point of me getting one was to make him stay away), but a couple weeks ago I received a court-summons, stating that I was being charged with a criminal offense. I remember when I first received the letter, I felt my stomach turn over and wither away. This was a couple weeks ago and since then I have had time to think and consider my options, but all the feelings came rushing back last night when I received a call from my father telling me that the County Sheriff had stopped by to drop off some documents. I could only assume the worse and that stomach feeling appeared again.
Whatever happened to respecting the time spent with another person and bowing out of a relationship gracefully? Where does all the cherished memories and valued time spent together go when someone's actions reveal more spite than love. What happened to "Forever & Always". I guess Forever stumbled through. [It's a line from a song I like.]
I wonder if people ever realize that behind my smile and giggles, I'm flippin' the fuck out because all I want to do is make him hurt as much as he hurt me. Even more. It's not revenge necessarily, but more having to do with the need for closure. Closure that, due to the courts, I shall never receive. I'm over writing about it.