Epiphany

A few months ago I wrote a REALLY long poem, speaking of a usual-ish night in DC. I even had it posted on TheNewGay site. In the poem, there was this line about "making the trip home, by myself". Someone commented saying that "you won't be making that trip home alone forever", and I sorta responded that When I say "going home alone"... its not that I'm trying to pick someone up. Its more of a wish of going with friends, or at least being able to talk to someone about it. More of the mental "alone", than being by oneself." It sounded like a copout, but it was the best I could do at the time. But now I realize what I meant.

The ride back home is walking back to the jail cell like closet. Whatever experience I had, pictures I took, literature/stickers I obtained, would be hidden or discarded, and there would be no trace of my doings. I would then have to deny/limit part of myself, in order to make the atmosphere at home more "comfortable" for everyone. It seems like home just isn't really "Home"y. And I tend to try to avoid it as much as possible.

Yet this weekend, I'm purposely choosing to stay home, and hang with the roommates. I haven't seen them on a Saturday for 4+ weeks. And as I almost start to consider integrating the different sides of my life. I sorta have to remind them that I'll still be their friend, so when the time comes, I can say I did my part. Plus, some other people already have plans. But this weekend I what I need to get a break. Hopefully I'll remember the good things about this home, and the people/friendships within. I hope you all have an awesome weekend. Peace!

You Rat Bastard!!!

So a few months ago, i was contacted by VISA about potential fraudulent charges on my account, so I checked and was like Hell Ya! So they said they would fix it, in time and whatever. They sent me a form to mail or fax back to them, and I stupidly procrastinated and lost it. Last week they resent it to me. Although this time... they sent me a copy of the main charge on it. I read the name... and it some guy that I know...

So this one saturday night, I was out in DC in february, I guess. As usual, it seems, I headed out to DC by my lonesome in an attempt to either meet new random people somehow, or coax some other friends to come out and meet me. I had seen freddy earlier that day, and he dissed me for Leila. Roger said he might come out cuz it was his bday weekend. Tim was supposed to go out, and maybe go to town. But I went out anyway. I went to 17th street and decided to do my rounds. Jrs, DIK bar, Halo, Cobalt... It was alright, but I don't remember too much of it. I played pool at Jr's for a little, and then left after they closed it up cuz it was getting busy. At dikbar I bumped into Marc and Andrew, and basically hung around them and whoever they knew, and later I might have done "Only God Knows Why - Kid Rock" for karaoke. I also resolved to get a name of one person there, and that how I met Brian. Anyways, I sang and then tim was going to Jr's before town. So I left to meet, and see if Roger was going to apex.
By now I already had 4 or 5 drinks, and after I met tim there I saw this dude... Stephen. By himself, cute, seemed really approachable, so I just went up to him and started talking. He seemed like a nice guy, and since he had to reach $25 on his tab he offered to buy me a drink. I asked for something sweet tasting and different. So the bartender gave him something that had a chocolaty flavor. And he ordered something else. Tim left to go to town with his friends and I stayed to chat it up with Stephen. We ended up switching drinks, cuz I'm not a fan of chocolate. Anyways, near the end of my drink... my stomach got a lil confused. So I excused myself, and went outside. Walked to the curb, and started to throw up. Don't know for how long, but eventually some lady came out and faked like she was helping me and got me some napkins and water from inside. After a little, I felt like I was good, and attempted to go back inside and say bye to stephen. At which point, she told me I couldn't and I realized she was a Jr's employee :(. Somehow I flag down a cab, and tell him to take me to the campus of a "friend" who I had pre-arranged to crash at. I get out of the cab and pay the man. he then hands me a napkin, so I can wipe away the mess from myself, then he immediately tells me its for his cab, not for me. whatever. I text my friend, and he comes to the gate to sign me in, and he brings me back to his dorm.
He drops me in his bed, and leaves to go get something. As he is gone... I throw up in between his bed and the wall. Eventually..... I get in his roommates bed and go to sleep. The next morning, he wakes me up and tells me I gotta leave cuz he has to go. I apologize for my actions, and then head out and stop at burger king, then marimekko on my way home.
So now I look at the sheet that came with the fraudulent charge... and his name is on it. I guess I dropped my bank card, or maybe the jerk took it. And he used it a couple days later to pay a car ticket in MN(minnesota??). He also might have tried to set up netflix. I almost feel bad for reporting him since I did puke around his bed... but still. I'm about to sign the form and fax it over. Its amazing the nerve people have these days....

And the winner is...

Celtics!!! Yes, Yes!! Although they may not have been my favorite team, I did prefer them OVER the Lakers. For the second time this year, I was rooting for the side of the winning team again (Go Giants!!). They were the better team and were more deserving of it(in my opinion) as well. They knew what they wanted, and they went out and accomplished their mission. As I walk this road of life, I hope to do the same. Work hard, play hard, never give up and just Go for it all! Also it is interesting to note that the last time their team has won, was a month before I was born!!

As a personal goal, I'm hoping by the end of the month to go and get what I want. More info on that later.

Happy Gay Marriage

Happy Homo Marriage to all those fudgepackers and carpetmunchers in Cali granted marriage 

licenses today. This is the perfect way to keep them homos from fucking each other now!

Blogpaganda (Mainstream Edition)

So, for this blogpaganda, I had to choose between two favourites. Of course they're both run by homos...(most good blogs are ) but I feel the need to advocate one more than the other. Plus, I can always blogpagand the other one next time. So for this edition, I'm gonna tell all 1.5 of our readers to check out Towleroad.com. Its basically, important gay news, politics, gossip, and of course the occasional shirtless twink/hunk/jock/bear/, whatever floats your boat. So ch-ch-check 'em out and bookmark the site. It's that good!! =D

Domesticated-ish

Essentially, what I've been trying to do is sum up my whole life into a few short paragraphs because I get bored, then easily distracted, and then fidgety. So, in an effort to be as precise and simple as possible, here goes mofos:

Most weekends I'm spending with my boyfriend. Today, June 17th, I officially known him for 2 months. The weird part out of the whole dealio is that, in those two months, I felt like I've lived a lifetime and a fraction of a second, paradoxically. Its such a great, butterflies in my stomach feeling. There's nothing better than to be walking down the street to Starbucks for my daily Iced Venti Sweetened Iced Coffee and have a flash of in image, sometimes Travis being totally silly or sometimes him using his puppy-dog eyes to get me to do something for him, that'll make my heart skip a beat, a smile rush to my face and all the perils of the day magically fade away. Yes, loveys, I'm in love. And its a feeling that has been well overdue for quite some time with me. We'll get into the occasional squabble but even those seem to be perfect for us. More than anything though, I'm extremely grateful to have Travis in my life because he's definitely grounded me in the sense that I'm focusing on aspects in my life that have been placed on the backburner for so long. I'm excited again to go back to school and actually "learn" something. Yesterday at lunch with him, I was discussing about how I felt that my social life was not up to par as to what it used to be. I was, the quintessential party boi and I no longer fit that description. It's bittersweet. That's not to say my days of drunken debauchary are over, but I have to tunnel my energies to more imperative issues. Thank you Travis.

I attended Pride only on Friday night. Sadly I missed out on Justin's buddies' party but I was able to meet Travis parents and his grandpap in exchange. His grandfather...THE CUTEST GRANDPOP ever!! OMGAH I thought he was so adorable. That evening as we drove back to the city, we had several options for a night on the town or a small party at a friends, even a gay bar we would pass by. Instead, we won't grocery shopping and made a little slumber party for ourselves. All the redbulls in the world couldn't of saved me that night from being sooo tired the night before. Sunday I spent the day stoned and at the pool. A beee-uuuutaful combo.

Now its Tuesday, with another work week started. Thankfully I get paid this week and I'll try not to drink my paycheck away. 

Oh yeah, and like many self-respecting homo...I did see SATC and <3<3<3>

Now Press Repeat

Now Press Repeat will be a weekly pick of a song that I feel compelled to share with the 1.5 readers we have here. So this week I wanna start with a booty-shaker...and that is Pussycat Dolls - When I Grow Up. Now now, lets not get testy, I've seen the review people have been posting on the net about the song, and while some like it, others abhor it. I personally don't think its the most eye-opening song there is...but its a great song to dance to at the clubs...which I totally did at Pride Friday night. So....enjoy, download or whatever.  PLUS PLUS PLUS, there's a line where you think Nicole goes, "I wanna have boobies" but in reality its " I wanna have groupies"....I prefer boobies!

Pride!!!

This has been a very high energy and packed month. While still recovering from NYC and Colbert, another weekend came, and this time it was DC pride. This was the best Pride I've been to ever. (True its only my second, but whatever). It was really fun, and the whole weekend was jam-packed with good times and people.

Looking back, I can truly see the growth that has taken place within and with-out of me. 2 years ago... I couldn't even walk through the circle, and I didn't know any gay person at all. Last year, wasn't too bad at all and I stuck with one group the whole time, and randomly saw a few different friends. This year was very different. I was able to hang out with new friends, old friends and random friends, separately and together. This was a big step, cause usually I'd be in the background and go with whatever crowd I start with, but now I was coordinating my group and taking a more active role. It's the whole idea of "pride" and "self-confidence". Certain situations in my life, and some of the new people around me, and a few outside resources have shown me more of myself. And has helped me grow, in my on skin. Also, getting to know more people, has helped me understand the "ways of the world", and I've adjusted my own views to account for the differences.

All in all, it was an awesome time. There are changes taking place, and less inner resistance. The next stage is difficult, but maybe now the foundation is ready. We'll see...

Thanks to you all for making this past Pride Weekend pretty awesome. Even if we didn't get to chill for too long. You all have made this the best pride weekend ever, and I'm glad I had the chance to see you and enjoy your company. Hope it was as good for you, as it was for me, lol. Thanks for being you!!

Justin

PS - Pay attention to the weekends before and after the July 10. Its my bday, and it'd be awesome if you were able to attend whatever it is that I do.