Last week I had the biggest hopes/goals/dreams for the 4-day weekend. It was gonna be fun-filled, friend-filled, experience-filled, hope-filled and awesome. Yet, as the days drew closer... I realized there'd be a couple bumps. A good number of friends wanted to avoid DC, cuz they aren't fans of crowds. A good number of friends weren't really able to spend money, which limited things we could attempt to do. I got a call Friday morning, informing me of family business which required me to be home for 10 am monday morning. The weather was also NOT going to be in my favor. And DC/metro would definitely be worse due to all the traffic and crowds.
Anyway, I ended up chillax-ing and ratatoille-ing it up Friday night at home. Later on, I had an interesting conversation with the gay kid from back home, and he mentioned some interesting things about my youngest brother...
Saturday, I hung with friends at a mansion. It was weird to know that everything in any one single room, was probably worth more than everything I own, collectively. But it was cool/fun and definitely something to dream about. After a good, chill although football-less sunday, they dropped me off to catch my bus to NYC. Which I only made, because they randomly had an extra bus. I knew this trip was coming so I bought a portable dvd player, and planned to watch 24, continuing from where I left off in season 1. Didn't happen and instead I started from season 3.
By the time I got to my sister-in-law/brother's place, it was snowing and after 10 mins they went to the hospital cuz she(who is pregnant) wasn't feel well. So the side plan of talking face-to-face about the emails didn't quite work out.
The next morning, I woke up at 9ish, even though the meeting was scheduled(planned) for 10. We ended up leaving the house at 10 and pushing it to 12:30. At the meeting, little new information was brought up. We did get to meet the banker tho and sign a few more things giving them access to my info. All of which, I didn't need to be present for. They repeated the same schpeele and we left with the same questions as before. So I was like, we go to the house and just sitdown and figure out exactly what the expectations are and what we wanna do. Cuz the oldest bro&sis-in-law are wishy-washy about it, and their reasoning wasn't sound. After a long discussion we decided to go through with it... with a wierd solution. (Break up the payments to be bi-weekly... cuz its easier to afford, even though its the same overall) Whatever.
My original plan had me catching a 10:35 flight back to dulles and then I could do Taint and/or other inauguration shenaniggans. I got to the airport late (10:20ish), and after an hour headed home to try again in the morning. Monday morning I woke up at 7:15iah to catch the 9:05 flight, that I was on standby for. I left with my younger bro and got to the train at 8:15, and arrived at the check-in at 8:39... 4 minutes late. The next flight would leave at 3, and I'd have to pay full price so I said screw it. I train-ed it to the city and after 2 mins of inauguration on cnn, I left to hop on the 11:30 bolt bus. I got into town close to four and headed straight home. No one else had any plans, so I ended up staying home and that was my weekend.
The one major plan I had was to go to, watch or at least, experience to inauguration somehow and see-ish the first black president. And I sorta did get hours of black president footage... David Palmer on 24. So I missed the inauguration completely, spent over $200 in transportation costs, barely accomplished any family business, and wore the same jeans. So basically, i'm wanting to plan less, cuz then less plans will fail, cuz they don't exist!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
"Honesty"... Is it Really the Best Policy?
Back in my early school days teachers and parents would tell us that this was the case. Its wrong to lie, and that telling the truth will set you free. Recently, I read a book which promoted 7 characteristics of a loving person's life, and honesty was one of them. Yet in everyday life, we all sometimes, make conscious decisions to be dishonest, "for the greater good".
Last week, a roommate of mine mentioned something on this topic. He stated that, in some situations, you can't win. Here's the example he used. There's a guy(str8) who is going into the dating scene. He can talk to multiple females, and she can too, and its all good. However, if he told any female that he enjoyed talking/spending time with her... that would create a sense of commitment/exclusiveness, in a way. He could honestly say that to each of the girls. Yet, if he told any of them, about a different girl... they would feel betrayed-ish or at least they would react dishonestly. In that they would not be as honest and open, because they'd be scared of becoming vulnerable. Even if, the girls themselves, were talking to multiple guys.
Honesty triggered dishonesty. Another example he gave was the following. A guy is very interested in a girl, so he's honest with her, and puts it out there. She isn't feeling the same way, yet doesn't want to hurt him. So instead of being completely honest, she declines yet says "another place, another time maybe" or "she's not looking for that right now" and then he'll probably say "its ok" or something to that effect. She's dishonest to spare his feelings, and he's dishonest for the same reason.
In life, few things are perfect. Meaning sometimes honesty has the potential to hurt feelings. If someone thinks they can sing. but can't (see american idol). If someone thinks they can wear something that is just too small. If someone needs a reality check... These things can have the potential to just hurt. But honesty is a necessity. Time reveals all truth and time usually also makes the pain more.
Personally, I've been trying to be honest with people, about my thoughts, feelings, and actions. Its been hard-ish and a little wierd. As I sent those emails back and forth to my sister-in-law, I tried to be both open and honest in answering her questions, and it was somewhat liberating. I've also been more honest on my facebooks, and just saying what's going on in my mind through statuses, comment and such, which is sometimes weird. Because people may not always know the full story behind what I say, and they jump to conclusions about the "Why"s. But hopefully I can spot things, or they'll ask questions which can help let the truth out. Which is why I"ll tend to ask questions to people, if/when I see something, rather than guess.
The other day, a friend had brought something up. So I asked an honest question about it. The response I got was very random. 98% of me believed that it was a complete lie. 85% still does. I confronted him about my thoughts, feelings on the issue, and he still continued with saying the same thing. The weird thing about it, is that I don't see anything he has to gain by lying, or lose by telling the truth. Its just a pointless lie. So now I have to make an inner judgement call on do I accept his words as truth, or believe everything else and myself which says its a lie. I choose the latter. On top of being honest with others, I have to be true to myself. But that experience has helped me to look at my current and past feelings, thoughts, and actions and definitely help me to see the truth about certain people and myself.
To answer the question, I truly believe that honest is the best policy. And it is very important in any friendship or relationship. Honest helps develop trust, and if I can't trust someone, why would I want to be their friend? So as I move along, in my journey I'm going to try my best to be honest. I may not always be open and just say everything that comes to mind, but when certain things may bother or confuse me, I'm going to be honest with them about what's going on with me, and I can only hope that they'll be honest back. When honesty is given through/in a medium of love... it can never truly hurt, and we all can handle that truth.
Last week, a roommate of mine mentioned something on this topic. He stated that, in some situations, you can't win. Here's the example he used. There's a guy(str8) who is going into the dating scene. He can talk to multiple females, and she can too, and its all good. However, if he told any female that he enjoyed talking/spending time with her... that would create a sense of commitment/exclusiveness, in a way. He could honestly say that to each of the girls. Yet, if he told any of them, about a different girl... they would feel betrayed-ish or at least they would react dishonestly. In that they would not be as honest and open, because they'd be scared of becoming vulnerable. Even if, the girls themselves, were talking to multiple guys.
Honesty triggered dishonesty. Another example he gave was the following. A guy is very interested in a girl, so he's honest with her, and puts it out there. She isn't feeling the same way, yet doesn't want to hurt him. So instead of being completely honest, she declines yet says "another place, another time maybe" or "she's not looking for that right now" and then he'll probably say "its ok" or something to that effect. She's dishonest to spare his feelings, and he's dishonest for the same reason.
In life, few things are perfect. Meaning sometimes honesty has the potential to hurt feelings. If someone thinks they can sing. but can't (see american idol). If someone thinks they can wear something that is just too small. If someone needs a reality check... These things can have the potential to just hurt. But honesty is a necessity. Time reveals all truth and time usually also makes the pain more.
Personally, I've been trying to be honest with people, about my thoughts, feelings, and actions. Its been hard-ish and a little wierd. As I sent those emails back and forth to my sister-in-law, I tried to be both open and honest in answering her questions, and it was somewhat liberating. I've also been more honest on my facebooks, and just saying what's going on in my mind through statuses, comment and such, which is sometimes weird. Because people may not always know the full story behind what I say, and they jump to conclusions about the "Why"s. But hopefully I can spot things, or they'll ask questions which can help let the truth out. Which is why I"ll tend to ask questions to people, if/when I see something, rather than guess.
The other day, a friend had brought something up. So I asked an honest question about it. The response I got was very random. 98% of me believed that it was a complete lie. 85% still does. I confronted him about my thoughts, feelings on the issue, and he still continued with saying the same thing. The weird thing about it, is that I don't see anything he has to gain by lying, or lose by telling the truth. Its just a pointless lie. So now I have to make an inner judgement call on do I accept his words as truth, or believe everything else and myself which says its a lie. I choose the latter. On top of being honest with others, I have to be true to myself. But that experience has helped me to look at my current and past feelings, thoughts, and actions and definitely help me to see the truth about certain people and myself.
To answer the question, I truly believe that honest is the best policy. And it is very important in any friendship or relationship. Honest helps develop trust, and if I can't trust someone, why would I want to be their friend? So as I move along, in my journey I'm going to try my best to be honest. I may not always be open and just say everything that comes to mind, but when certain things may bother or confuse me, I'm going to be honest with them about what's going on with me, and I can only hope that they'll be honest back. When honesty is given through/in a medium of love... it can never truly hurt, and we all can handle that truth.
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