So I'm officially moved in to the new pad. Its in downtown silver spring, and walking distance to the metro!! Awesome. Also nearby buses(16th and 14th street) run late EVERYDAY. So NO more expensive cab rides from late nights in DC. Things are definitely looking up. And also... we now have an HD-Dvr cable box. So that definitely adds even greater reason to not be home at all.
However, that definitely seems to not make sense, in a few ways. Why is it that the best thing about this new place, is the flexibility I'll have to not be there. That's a problem. I guess part of the reason is that, I don't usually see these places as "home". I've moved around a lot, so I never really invested in my room, or the house itself, because my mind sees it as a temporary thing.
But now. I'm wanting to change that perspective. I want to get in the mindset of semi-permanence. Knowing that things don't last forever, but they can last for a while. And that I can invest in something that may not last, but at least I can enjoy it for those moments.
I'm on my way to tell one of the roommates who I am. And its weirdly motivating, being scared and excited at the same time. But lastly, I just had definite word that both roommates will be gone for the weekend, and I have monday off. So its ON saturday, at my place. Let me know if you wanna come, and what you'd wanna do.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Interesting Times
Sunday morning I woke up, and was surprised to see my roommate still at the house. He joking remarked that he'd be leaving soon, and I can bring my boyfriend over to have gay sex with. I think I carried the joke, and replied with a "maybe next week". Then in carrying the joke further, he went on to say that I should just come out of the closet. Its a better place to be for people and what not. And then he said, being in the closet is easier for the people like him, because then they don't have to think about or deal with it, still mostly joking. And that gay jokes can be pretty fun and funny, and that an actual gay person there would take the fun out of it. Because then it would/could be seen as offensive, I guess.
After he said that, I felt completely mixed about my reply. I thought I could come out to him, which goes along with the point he jokingly made. I could actively lie about it, and pretend I took offense for his gay implications, or I could just sorta let it be. I did the latter, and just let him move on. But as I was hearing his words, I listened to the argument he made. It wasn't the typical anti-gay, religious perspective. It showed an understanding of the unchangeability of it all, and the notion of self-acceptance. I remember the other month,which I might have blogged about, when he posed a question to a group of us randomly one night. The question being "What would you do if your son turned out to be gay?", and how the expressions of all those there became more somber. But because this roommate does a lot of new research(reading blogs, newspapers, and other online sources of information), he's more apt to look at evidence and outside perspectives to base his reactions off of.
Because of all that, and the fact that the other roommate will be gone this weekend. And the fact that it'd be nice for me to invite you guys to the new place, I feel like I should come out to him. Its a very complex thing, and in a way its a disarming place to put him in, but I shouldn't be limiting my life, for the sake of others' "comfortability". Plus its also Coming Out Day saturday, so this just might make sense.
After he said that, I felt completely mixed about my reply. I thought I could come out to him, which goes along with the point he jokingly made. I could actively lie about it, and pretend I took offense for his gay implications, or I could just sorta let it be. I did the latter, and just let him move on. But as I was hearing his words, I listened to the argument he made. It wasn't the typical anti-gay, religious perspective. It showed an understanding of the unchangeability of it all, and the notion of self-acceptance. I remember the other month,which I might have blogged about, when he posed a question to a group of us randomly one night. The question being "What would you do if your son turned out to be gay?", and how the expressions of all those there became more somber. But because this roommate does a lot of new research(reading blogs, newspapers, and other online sources of information), he's more apt to look at evidence and outside perspectives to base his reactions off of.
Because of all that, and the fact that the other roommate will be gone this weekend. And the fact that it'd be nice for me to invite you guys to the new place, I feel like I should come out to him. Its a very complex thing, and in a way its a disarming place to put him in, but I shouldn't be limiting my life, for the sake of others' "comfortability". Plus its also Coming Out Day saturday, so this just might make sense.
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