Comparison pt 1.

In recent times, especially after Prop 8 passing, and misguided blame directed at the Black population, I've read a couple things that compared the "church" in black culture to the "bar" in gay culture. Basically, they both serve as the standard community location or hangout. Being a part of both communities, allows me to experience both. And list my own comparisons.

Segregation: Black churches are different from white churches, and are different from mixed churches. Mixed churches even have their areas where "like" people will gather, based on age, country, income, profession, race school they went to. Very similar to the bar scene.

Fads: A new church was recently started a year or so, ago. And now, it is the main places for younger people to go. A number of other churches have just lost their regular members. Just like what Town did to Cobalt.

Music: The music at churches do vary pretty much. Certain people will use that specifically to determine where they should go. Music is a key ingredient to setting the atmosphere, so it definitely invokes strong opinions and influences church attendance. I think of TNG events, and a number of occasions where people have said they don't a certain gay establishment because of the music. Also, certain songs are good and so traditional that a huge portion wants to, and may just start singing at random times. The equivalent would be showtunes, or a glee ivdeo clip. Guests DJs = Special music acts in church. The secular song "Last Night a DJ saved my life", I'll here or read the same thing in a facebook status about some random choir. Also, certain times a song may drag on and on, some enjoy it, others don't. This definitely happens with certain DJ's that either overplay a song, or play a techno track that'll be four different songs, but all to the same exact beat.

Parking: Get to some churches too late, and hopefully you can find a parking spot within 3-4 blocks. Its definitely comparable to nights in DC.

Friendships: Being at the same church over and over, and go to potlucks or other social events gives you an area with like minded people, which makes it easy to form friendships. In my denomination, if someone moves into the area, they will probably go to a church with the expectation and hope of meeting new people and making friends. Similarly, the first place a gay person would go is the local gay bar. I'm not saying they are the only places a black or gay person would go... but they are the easiest and have high success rates.  

Weekend Scheduling: Churches have regular meeting times and regularly scheduled events. This predictability allows for people to always have a plan, or know that they can rely on it at given times. In NYC, the SDA church is especially good for this. While in highschool, my roommate spent many weekends basically at the church. Saturday morning service, then a lunch in the afternoon at church, then hanging out till the afternoon/evening service, then maybe a social or church league basketball game, then its already 1-2am. Then on Sunday, we have our own version of boy scouts, called Pathfinders. Since you're friends with all these people as well, its definitely an awesome time and not as bad as it seems to an outsider.

The bar scene is the same way. Certain places have drinks at the right price at certain days of the week. And events, drag bingo, trivia, karaoke, happy hours, college nights, theme parties, free drink hours, underwear contests... One can easily schedule and entire weekend filled with just bar hopping, club going, brunch and McD eatings, and then the weekend is over. and especially since people tend to travel in groups and cliques, you're with friends so it can be an awesome time.

TGIF

I do not remember the last time I had a Friday night like this. One where I planned to go straight home after work, and where I could just rest. This morning on my way to work, I was already excited for this moment. Even though I was going on limited sleep, I was somehow energized throughout the day. I left work earlyish, got home, did laundry, took stuff to the cleaners, cleaned my room and organized my closet and even vacuumed. Now I'm laying down in bed, about to do some reading, while sipping on tea, with music playing. I could be doing so much more.... but right now, this is what I need and its Amazing!

Why do I blog?

I couldn't think of a good enough topic for todays installment, so I figured why not answer the basic question of why I even blog. Hopefully, this will help the readers understand my writing a little more, and give new perspective to each post.

Blogging is my way to share whats going on in my head, with the hope of informing my friends and sometimes creating a discussion. With work, life and all of our busy schedules there isn't always time for sharing random thoughts or ponderings or questions about life. So when I blog, I have this goal of just putting things out there, and then there is sometimes a connected hope of growth, change, finding answers, etc... I know some people blog for personal reasons, and/or wouldn't publicize what they write and I can somewhat understand. But I don't live in a bubble and an outside perspective can oftentimes help.

Based on online comments, or chats or in-person conversations, I'd say 12 people may read the majority of my posts. So when I do blog, my posts can sometimes be targeted. Blogging for is a semi-public way to share my perspective on the world. The site may be public to anyone in the world, but I don't think any random midwesterner or foreign person who reads this, would know who I am. And if they did, it somewhat doesn't matter. I'm writing to those 12. They are friends and know me. We've hung out, talked, made some good memories, and probably took pictures. Its you guys that matter. Sometimes it may seem like I'm singling out people, but mostly that's not the case. There have been very few instances where I did, but I probably was venting at the time, and I know those people do not even read my blog. Other times people may be mentioned, but its never to blame, condemn, or some way to lash out.
If anything, its cause for discussion. Its me showing a perspective, hoping that the readers can share some insight. I see the world from my view, and sometimes I try to look from another's view, but its still my mind doing it. As this month continues, and I write more often then usual, I hope we can all enjoy the ride. So welcome in, feel free to take off your shoes, have a seat, get comfortable. Speak up! Questions, comments, complaints are always welcome.

Ew: TNR (Nov. 3,4,5)

Have I ever expressed my distaste for the font Times New Roman. If i haven't before thenI shall gladly tell you now. When I got my first computer in the mid 90s, I was about (how old are you in 5th grade?) 9 or 10 years old. It was a "Hewlett Packard", beige coloured with a big monstrosity of a monitor and a CPU that probably weighed the same amount as me at the time. I have very fond memories of my first computer. It was loaded with awesome games like Sonic the Hedgehog, Ecco, the dolphin game, and this one CD-ROM game called POD, which was a car racing game that I was really bad at, among others. I would spend hours and hours entertaining myself with the Paint program, creating pictures to go with the storyboard in my head. It also contained my first introduction to the wonderful world of Maxis, with the original SimCity. Anyways, this isn't the point.

So, of course, when book reports and article reviews would get assigned in class I would jump at the chance to type them on Microsoft Word, (I think it was Edition 95 or something). I loved typing. I had no basic training, but still I would sit at the computer for hours and type lists of things that I didn't really need, just for the sake of hearing the click click click of the keyboard. I went as far as to make a list of all the pokemon I had "encountered" on the cartoon. It was then that I learned what a "font" was, and that not everything had to be as boring as Times New Roman.

You see, I never considered the actual styling of letters and here was this option that allowed me to change my "font" to any cool design and feature that pleased me. I was ecstatic. In comparison, all the other fonts by far surpassed Times New Roman in coolness factor. Times New Roman reminded me of newspaper. Newspaper that had been yellowed with age and made coarse. Or an old crotchety dude. It was boring. It added no pizazz to an assignment and it made me feel generic and inordinary. Is it "in" or "un" - ordinary? I unno. I think its "un". Anyway, to this day, I really really loathe the font on syllabi, articles, and forms. It shows me that the person who typed it cared very little to give the paper a little more personality, to attract the reader. I prefer fonts like Arial, and Helvetica, all the sans serif stuff. Comic Sans was also deffo a favourite of my early youth.

Today, even on my blackberry, the font is "casual" something or other, but I guess my issues with fonts says more about me than about the fonts themselves.

Last Night's Losses

Off-Year Elections? Who knew... the few elections didn't really count. And were won by the front-runners anyway. Only sad part about them, was the fact that they were all GOP wins. Even though the democratic candidates didn't seem any better, I just usually hope for the lesser of two evils. However, the one main issue yesterday being voted on, was in Maine.

Question 1 on the ballot was a measure to repeal the law allowing same-sex marraige. Throughout the past 7 or so months, I've been volunteering at the HRC. ITs mostly been phonebanking, calling voters in various places getting their opinion on whatever local issue and hopefully getting their support. Its been interesting. I feel like it sorta puts me out there to see what is going on, and gives me an opportunity to help. It also helps me figure out my own feelings about whatever issue. So for the past few months we've been calling Maine voters, identifying supporters and either soliciting donations or finding volunteers. Certain nights felt productive, and a couple times... it was a little more hostile. It was what it was, and I'm glad I was able to take part in it. Although, by taking part in it, and seeing the optimism of the other volunteers... it just made the loss somewhat worse.

I guess, the point of this blog would be to understand why? What was the reason for why it was overturned by 53% of the voters.

- Is it too soon to expect that kind of social change?
- Are the gays being selfish in wanting this change amidst the current global economic, environmental and healthcare issues on the table?
- Does it need to be called "marraige"?
- Did the gay community go about the campaign in the wrong way? Instead of saying we want equality, in this way, now. Should they have been approaching the other side in a spirit of discussion rather that of accusation?
- Does the gay community make it easier for the opposition to use scare tactics and fear to reach their voters?
- Is there a way to bridge the gap being a socially conservative rural Maine resident and a gay liberal urbanite that allows compromise? or is it just a dream?

In looking at some of the comments and/or statuses and/or blogs that some have written after the fact. Are our feelings even justified? Most of us don't live in Maine. Have any of us, done anything to even help their cause? Are we doing anything to help what happening in DC? Can we do anything to help? If you had the opportunity would you? Is it a cause we even truly believe is worth it?

Lots of questions... anyone got any answers, perspectives, ideas ??

NaBloPoMo

Its National Blog Posting Month, I'm going to post a blog (for) everyday of this month. When I first heard the idea, I wondered if its even possible? my last 30 blogs took from February till now. So this is quite a challenge. I also wonder if some blogs may be cookie-cutter, pointless rambling of words about nothing really. But I think I will attempt to think of topics, ideas and plans of interest in my life. With yesterday's voting, world series, the new NBA season, person goals, colder weather, shopping lists, upcoming holiday season and life, I believe it just might work. and forcing myself to at least one blog a day, will hopefully be both challenging and fruitful.

PS - If you have a topic/idea or personal question for me to use as a blog... that would also be great!

10 Minutes before Midnight

Watching Family Guy. It's all I've done since my last real post which was [i don't even know]. I know I'm amazeballs. I'll post in more detail the on goings of my life tomorrow. Sorry Justin, don't think of me as copping out. More like thinking of what to actually say for tomorrow.

Topics to consider -

How does one navigate in a world firmly acknowledging that they're gay even though they were raised to abhor the behavior and practice?

Will my SDA classmates and ex-friends ever be "friends" again?

Why isn't there more squidbillies on tv?

I've got a major crush on Jim from The Office?

Why is gas higher now that it was in the summer? Or at least my wallet shares this sentiment.

Do you think the world is ready for a way more legit Mortal Kombat movie? I do.

Who do i have to blow to get a new mac?

-Among other things

NaBloPoMo

In honor of National Blog Posting Month, I will (attempt) to post a blog everyday of this month. I've been meaning to get back into the swing of things anyway, and hopefully a blog a month will help in that. This is for November 1st since I'm a day late, (and a dollar short).

what and/or am I doing wrong?

A number of weeks ago, I posted the words from this plaque as a blog. There weren't any actual comments on it, and it sorta fell by the wayside. A week ago Saturday, I had this facebook status: "Justin Dominic M wonders what I'm doing wrong? or maybe I'm just not changing with the times?" A number of things came together, on the inside and outside, which made me write that status. It just seems that a number of friendships have changed or are changing. Sometimes, I can see the reason, othertimes I can not. Certain people, I just stopped initiating contact and that's why things changed. In a couple other cases, other circumstances might have changed and we no longer communicate in the same manner. The dynamics have changed and/or my "place" in the group. In life, things change... so it makes me wonder how/if I need to change to make up for the difference. I guess thats one of the biggest challenges of life, how to continuously embrace change and grow in such a manner that is productive. (now would be a place/reason to comment) Who knows? And thats where I wonder what I'm doing wrong?

Its like certain people and/or relationships provided certain things. Maybe they inspired, or challenged me to grow, or provided the atmosphere of growing, or allowed me to share and be open, or just a comfortable setting to chill and relax, or a place to learn and ask questions or discover new insight. These relationship changes or evolutions are expected in life, I guess. I think what I'm doing wrong is not changing accordingly? Maybe I'm trying to set up an "old" situation, something that worked in the past. However, it is a "new" relationship, so the old ways don't and shouldn't suffice anymore?

Thoughts while Sick

This sucks. In some ways, more than others. I always try to be as productive or efficient as possible. You never what life has in store, so I try to get the most out of each week or day. This week was definitely not a week to be sick. The race, random new work assignments with quick deadlines, my own personal Android development plan, HRC phonebanking, a trivia reunion, hanging out with friends, my roommates birthday, daylight savings time, and Halloween. So many hopes in the oppurtunites there for fun, for hanging with friends, and creating new memories. But it's all been put to sick.

Tuesday started with a sore throat, and by midday headaches and bodyaches. I left work early, and could barely finish the trek home. I felt like I should tell the few people who responded to the race invite, but I couldn't even manage that. The next 16 hours were spent sleeping mostly, waking up every 2 hours, with a headache and body pains, to get water, OJ, pee breaks, and take whatever meds were there, all to no avail. It sucked cuz I couldn't even manage to watch TV, look at my laptop or even try and use my phone.Finally the next morning, I just told my roommate to take me to the hospital, since no home medicines were working, and its hard to do anything when EVERYTHING hurts. They gave me a shot, a couple prescriptions and sent me on my way. Best part was the prescription pain meds did their thing, so that made things much more bearable. I was finally able to sleep better after that, and could even watch TV. On Friday, my temperature finally, although it was only temporary, fell under 100 and thats where it remains. Now the aches are gone, the headache is almost gone, fever is gone, but I still have a sore throat, so everyday I hope that when I wake, it'll disappear.

So being sick, the whole week was basically unproductive, and definitely not awesome. I randomly got texts from people who were doing things, and I couldn't join. I watched my roommates and friends go to church, knnowing of the surprise birthday potluck, and realizing I would be missing out. Reading facebook statuses and messages, and tweets, and seeing photos of everything I was missing... Part of me, said maybe I should just go... I'm not as bad as before, right? But I realized that was me being selfish, I'm home not only cuz I want to get better, but also cuz I don't want to cause others to get sick. So home I stayed. I got to watch all the excitement of people getting ready to go out for my roommates birthday. I had a front row view, of my roommate having a blast pre-gaming, as I said no to all the fun.

Thrn I thought about past years and roommate birthdays and halloween weekends and parties. I wondered if I wasn't sick, how would the week have went? Would I have done everything I wanted/hoped for? Would the people whose company I wanted, actually been there? Would I have shortchanged my roommates as somewhat usual(sadly), and gone to hang out with other friends or at least in a gay environment? Who knows? So I guess what I'm sayingis that it definitely sucks to be forced to have no options, yet at least the decision is made, and I know that my choice WAS the right thing to do.