January - Started with a bangin party, most of which was fun and positive. Feelings wise, I was not in a good place. Still reeling with confused feelings for you-know-who, and after meeting whats his name a lil before, my self-confidence and hope for the future weren't too high. Although, I got in contact with some old friends, which def helped my mojo.
February - More of the same. I also distanced myself from the roommates, and tried to put myself out there more... to no avail. Although, there were two hopeful-ish events. 1. A gay prospect came over and we played games, and my roommate and a female friend both stopped by, but didn't realize or even mention anything. 2. I got drunk and met Stephen, which was a high point, altho I never fully asked for or got a number. The rest of that night, was one of my worst nights ever. And I lost my scarf.
March - My self-confidence increased when I met this one dude, in person, and i def wowed him. Even got a fb shoutout. But i knew his type, and that it wasn't for me. Even you-know-who warned me, but I didn't listen. I later also attempted to get over a fear of older guys. I saw the after-effects of a "first-love / broken heart" in a friend. And attempted to make str8 allies. Had a 2 week headache, got my permit, completed the "Hunt for a Wii", began reading, AND kept myself busy.
April - Started with dealing with consequences from March, and also being in a group opposite 5 MoCo police cruisers. I posted a poem I wrote online for TNG. Began getting prizes in trivia, learned that deserving and actually receiving are not always hand-in-hand, and I started this blog along with Freddy! saw a fried go thru a tough time, and a diff friend find new romance.
May - As the weather changed, so did my attitude. My original fear os meeting Hisham was mostly realized. I began to take pictures of my gay outings. Starte bloggigng much more. And hanging out with gay friends during the day!! I began to have a fear that my mom was getting was faster than we realized. I mixed three different sets of gay friends, and its mostly a success. I prepare for going to a gay beach, for the first time AND with a group of gay guys.
june - The beach was a worthwhile experience, enhancing relationships with those new friends, and seeing gays in another environment. Left the beach with conflicted but minor new emotions. Went to nyc multiple times, became an uncle again, and started my fv-blogging. Saw a stephen colbert live taping and some of NY pride festival. Stayed with gay friends for all of pride weekend, and did my best to keep my energy up, with seeing an ex, and you-know-who, and wondering what was goin on inside. I chose to hide myself less, post-pride, and saw that February's bad night costed me an extra $122.
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