I decided yesterday to let my feelings be known to someone. If you know me, you may be surprised to know that I have those things called feelings. I'm usually never showing much emotion or any deeper part of myself. Sometimes I do in these blogs, but at those times I tend to be get very general and vague about the situation. Anyways, after much deliberation and internal resistance, I told him how I felt. Then waited for the response.
I had no idea how I wanted him to respond, truthfully. Sure there was that hope for the perfect answer and that all the next steps would just fall into place. But perfection is never attained. The answer was as good as I could have hoped for, in some ways. It was well thought out, well reasoned, and openly honest. It confirmed that he shared some of the same feelings, and also had his own resistances. The fears/reservations that I had, he also had. But it doesn't end there, also that is where it is right now.
I'm not sure how to feel at the moment. Excited and optimistic in one sense. Yet confused, nervous, and scared at the same time. I know what the "best" move is, to get what I want. But I need to make sure I do whatever, for the right reasons. Although I may just be making excuses. But, by being a closet case, this is the highway I've chosen. Will I ever get onto the exit ramp?
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